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Enter Our “Rename BP” Contest

The winner gets a can of anchovies, packed in oil of course.

by on Jun.01, 2010

The need for a new BP name to escape blame (NNTEB?) is, well, now floating to the surface.

The largest oil spill in U.S. history is creating the obvious need for the rebranding of BP so that when it inevitably uses bankruptcy to escape its still growing multi-billion dollar liabilities, the new, clean corporation can remove itself as much as possible from being associated with the disaster that Bad Petroleum created in the Gulf of Mexico.

I will wager there are expensive consultants working on this right now – numerous bankruptcy lawyers, as well as branding and logo design firms.

However, since we firmly believe in the free, err rigged by the rich, very expensive market, as well as the creativity of our audience, we hope that a name that is much better than Beyond Petroleum (PB or post beyond?) will gush forth from the electronic ether. How about EB for escape blame, or NCC for new clean corp, or DM for drilling mud, or PYNW, as in poisoning your neighbor’s well or DHR for Deepwater Horizon rig?

This is vital so that whatever entity BP becomes (Post-Britannique Moniker, PBM?)  it can drill into a slick new world, uninhibited by having to pay for an ocean’s worth of dead fish, birds and assorted marine non-life (AMNL or maybe just slick oil?).

Posturing politicians (PP?) and our non-regulatory agencies (NRA – oops, need to dodge that naming rights bullet) will also welcome the relief coming from the change of subject (COS?) as the oil spill (OS?) goes on for a longer time than Noah endured the rain. (Ark Oil or just ARC, since BP already holds the rights to Arco?)

So please “spill baby spill” with your ideas. (M-GOL as in millions of gallons of oil liquid?)

Is a “Palin”-drome possible here? After all (or is that after oil?) Sarah used a similar tactic by abandoning Alaska when it became clear that a reckoning was coming and she needed to get out before she was thrown out by voters (GOTO?). How about SBS from “spill baby spill or SBD for “spill baby ditto” – oops, I think that one is taken. Say the ultimate costs imposed by the impotent Obama Administration on BP (hum – IOA?) are $98289 billion, then there are numerous possible new titles for Bad Petroleum if you let your fingers do the walking on your cell phone key pad: WUAUW?

Getting the “unpredictable drift” here? What about RWTM – for relief wells take months?

Send us an “oil-mail” with your worst ideas so we can drill down into the topic. The anchovies await…