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Big News: Subaru Reveals Grand Outback

Bigger is better, and that's no joke...maybe.

by on Apr.01, 2011

Bigger is better?

It’s that season when manufacturers start unveiling the coming model-year’s products.  And while some press releases require hours of reading to get to the pertinent facts.  However, Subaru’s missive revealing today’s surprise launch of the “Grand” Outback was so well written and succinct we found it impossible to do anything but offer the maker’s release intact:

In a bid to continue its record-setting sales streak, Subaru of America today announced the debut of a new model, the Subaru “Grand” Outback.

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The new model will be identical in looks to the current best-selling model but will be 50% bigger in every dimension.  This means that wheelbase increases from 107.9” to 166”, track is up from 61” to 90” and ground clearance up from an already class-leading 8.7” to 13”.

Subaru’s rationale behind the “Grand” Outback is simple: Its current generation of vehicles grew by 20% and corresponding sales grew by 50%.  Thus, by making Outback 50% larger still, Subaru can logically expect sales to more than double.

“It’s really very simple” said Chief Engineer Wattan Obveyus Johk  “We keep all the goods stuff: all-wheel drive and the Boxer engine, we just make everything bigger! The engine is now a 5.0 liter 12 cylinder boxer and wheels are now 34”.  It can’t fail, although you will need a step ladder to get into the vehicle.”

Subaru expects this vehicle to contribute to its continued sales success through 2011.

We at Subaru of America hope you have a happy April 1.

The maker did include this footnote:

Not really.  It’s an April Fool’s joke.  We did build one of these cars, but couldn’t get it out of the door.  The Legal guys make us add this.

 

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One Response to “Big News: Subaru Reveals Grand Outback”

  1. [...] Subaru decides bigger is better and reveals the Grand Outback. (The Detroit Bureau) [...]